Dee and (somewhat look-a-like) brother Tommy Jr. do subtle battle over their inheritance and the possibility of fracking land they inherited. Tommy Jr. is married to Chiffon, who is a stick.


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Tommy Jr.

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The Indulgences Scenario, Script

Setting: Any packaged food aisle.

Scene 1:

Dee is using her walker with a basket on the front to navigate the aisle. She has a basket attached to her walker that is filled with junk food. Her dialogue is directed at the viewer.

(Sighs), From the neck down I look like a crumpled piece of paper and I am missing the two things that men find the most interesting.

I inherited my father’s body.

My brother, Tommy Jr., got 2/3rds of his estate and I got 1/3rd.

But I got his saggy flesh to squeeze into something fashion forward.

I‘ve been planning exactly what to say when I die and see him again.

Scene 2:

Dee’s Brother Tommy Jr, their bodies look alike except Tommy JR has a crooked eye with bigger bags under them and a goatee. They are pushing a basket filled with canned goods and bottles of water.

Tommy Jr is with his wife Chiffon.

We used to go out to eat and then go dancing, now we just go out to eat.

Tommy Jr:
Chiffon, I took you to France, what more do you want?

Everything there was served with a side of cigarette smoke.

Tommy Jr:
Well, we aren’t going anywhere that doesn’t speak a language I didn’t learned in High School.

Besides, I’m too busy putting post-it notes on white boards, planning that bomb shelter with our inheritance.

And I got married because I have a high tolerance for disappointment.

Tommy Jr:
You can say that again.

How is it that me were able to gain power and continue to run the world when all they think about is sex?

Tommy Jr:
Because we don’t think about babies.

Scene 3:

Dee meets Tommy Jr, and Chiffon. Dee has junk food in her basket; Tommy Jr has a basket piled with bottles of wine and party food.

Tommy Jr:
Dee, honey, we were just buying some wine. You should come over for a little cup of it.

Tommy Jr, a cup with a chipped lip is a micro aggression

Tommy Jr:
Didn’t some philosopher talk about the narcissism of small differences?

Philosophy? Where did you get that, a Ted Talk?

Tommy Jr:
Dee, that look is an advertisement for war.

No one ever slipped and fell on a sidewalk covered in sunshine.

I was thinking, if we fracked the farm it would be like pumping dead presidents directly into our checking accounts… 1/3 for you 2/3 for me… all you would have to do is sign off on it.

But I am an eco artist.

Although my primarily interest is in things between the legs.

That danger zone! Now all I think about when my daughter brings a boy home is that he might make the decision to pull the plug on my life support in the distant future.

Scene 4:

Puppies that are also putti arrive before Dee as she walks down the aisle and continue to hang around as she talks to the viewer.

It is so difficult being a revolutionary.

It is my sense of style that is the real revolution.

It is impossible to run a revolution like this without comfort, profit and potential fame of course.

I am building my brand by giving back to the community to help the under privileged by going to fabulous benefits, dressing well and eating food in petite courses.

Scene 5:

Dee is speeding down the aisle of the grocery store in a convertible sports car. As the car passes it slows. The back seat is filled with groceries.

This is my kind of wheel chair! (laughs)

Dee continues laughing as the car speeds off down the aisle and disappears in a cloud of dust.

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